Adults often inadvertently communicate with children in such a way that in the future they develop complexes and incorrect attitudes to life. All this is formed unconsciously, but deeply rooted in the children's brain.
These problems begin to haunt the child throughout life, suppressing self-confidence and their strength in adolescence, making it difficult to make the right choice and make the right decisions in adulthood.
In our article, you can learn about 10 lessons that children learn with emotional neglect of adults.
10. Do not be too happy or too sad
In childhood, many experience very strong feelings, which they cannot control due to an unformed emotional system.
Often, parents, instead of reassuring the baby and telling him that emotions should not be ashamed, begin to send him signals that excessive feelings are not very good.
The child begins to try not to control his emotions, but to weaken them, which makes him rather neutral towards many things, instead of being sincerely happy or upset.
9. Children's desires are not so serious
The child, like an adult, has his own desires and needs, but not all newly-made parents pay due attention to them and are treated with understanding.
Often, adults disdain the requests of children, not even trying to explain why they will not buy this or that toy or thing, why you should not try to satisfy this or that need, whether it is good or bad.
Children with this attitude of adults to their needs often grow up indifferent, they can in the same way in the future treat their parents' requests for help.
8. Do not show your feelings too much, as others will judge them
Kids often do not know how to control their feelings and express them quite openly and directly, for example, without being embarrassed by others, they loudly ask questions, cry or laugh.
Adults do not always like this and many teach the child to try not to show emotions in this way, to hide them from others. In the future, such children can grow up withdrawn, with difficulty finding a common language with people.
7. Tears are a manifestation of weakness.
Experienced psychologists say that crying is normal, this method of splashing out emotions positively affects the psycho-emotional state of a person, and even more so a child.
But adult tears of children often lead to indignation, especially when a boy cries, they immediately tell him that he behaves like a girl.
Parents should understand that a baby of any gender needs to cry sometimes, adults should not report it at the same time, you should carefully try to find out the reason for crying and help the child cope with the problem that caused him.
6. Man is alone in this world
A child from infancy should feel that his parents are behind him, always ready to support him in any situation.
But in the modern rhythm of life, adults are almost always busy with their own affairs, they often have no time to understand the problems of their child, they prefer to leave him alone with difficulties.
In the future, such children begin to understand that there is no one to hope for in this world, everyone here is on their own.
5. Do not rely on other people, then not to be disappointed
All people need help, regardless of age. But children more than others need support, mentoring and help. Parents are often not up to it, many are busy moving up the career ladder and making money.
Children remain out of work. Even if they turn to adults for help or advice, they often do not receive them. Thus, they learn the lesson that it is better not to ask anyone for anything, so as not to be disappointed.
4. Anger is a negative emotion that should be avoided.
Many children, because of their age, are angry at any, even the most insignificant, cause, for example, because the wheels of a toy car fly off or the doll's arm falls off.
Adults should not scold the baby for the manifestation of anger and anger, you need to help the child understand the reason for his condition and try to cope with this emotion.
But instead, parents forbid the baby to be angry or suppress his anger on their own. Thus, the child learns that anger is bad and cannot be spilled out. In the future, such children gradually accumulate negative emotions, they have no choice, this condition can lead to a nervous breakdown.
3. Talking about your problems is burdensome for other people.
As a child grows up, various kinds of problems may arise, in the kindergarten they are connected with friendship between the kids, in school he may have first love, etc.
A child often needs the advice of adults, as they have a richer life experience. But parents often dismiss the problems or questions of their offspring or cannot try to find a solution or explanation for them.
Thus, children begin to understand that their problems are not interesting to anyone except themselves and try to deal with them on their own, stuffing bumps that could be avoided with the help and support of adults.
2. Excessive sensitivity should be avoided.
Many children are overly sensitive and emotional, according to adults. Kids tend to get upset or angry often, at this moment they need the support of their parents, the child needs to try to help calm down, cope with their emotions.
But some parents consider the manifestation of feelings a weakness even in childhood, which they try to convey to the child. As a rule, children learn this lesson well and in the future grow up very mean on emotions.
1. People are not interested in what others say
In childhood, many are curious, learn the world, ask many questions and try to share newly acquired knowledge with others. Some parents do not understand how important it is to maintain a conversation with a child, to build a dialogue with him, to ask him what he learned today and how he spent the day.
Many adults are too busy with work and their interests and do not pay enough attention to talking with their own children. Thus, the child begins to understand that no one appreciates his words, and begins to try to keep his thoughts to himself.